Archive for the ‘Fantasy Supreme Court League’ Category

Dear contestants,

It wasn’t close. Austin took the lead early and never looked back. Sure, his December guesses were crap, and that confirms that the system is rigged, but his other scores are nuts. Seriously: we had psychiatrists, psychologists, and psychotherapists all examine his work, and he’s due for some sessions. Or drugs. Or both. We’d really prefer both. But congratulations for this achievement are due: amazing work, Austin!

Because he won two consecutive terms with such a staggering performance, we are naming future Fantasy leagues after this winner: this fall, we will open the Austin from LA SCOTUS Fantasy League. And, as the eponymous player, we still encourage Austin from LA, but he will not be eligible for the crown. It’s like those “named” professors: the next winner will be something along the lines of “Nazim, the Austin from LA 2018 SCOTUS Fantasy League winner.”

2017 Winners

There are others worth mentioning: Donkey Punch used some pretty solid data-driven strategy (he just plugged in what a website told him to plug in), and scored 215 points for January, when many of us didn’t do very well. Brett lost lost to Nazim by a huge, very big, not small margin. And some amazing players only played for one round. Cade-VA Beach, why didn’t you come back after the first round? Adam in Rochester got the top score for April, but flaked in March and May. And Blake from Florida was tied for second highest score for March, but missed three of the ballots.

Maybe it’s out fault. Maybe we’re being too defensive about our religious rights. Maybe I should just enjoy a sandwich, regardless of whether it’s cut in half or not. We’ll never know. However, thank you for playing, and thank you for listening and giving us your feedback.

Image result for justice john roberts

Enclosed are results follows SAS Intitute and Jesner.  We did not have Dimaya on the ballot, so that did not count. From what I have read from my sources (the Scotusblog twitter account), results will begin again May 15 and then come fast and furious.

170         Holy shit, my friend Ray

165         Hollywood Austin

135        DC Alyssa

125         Vito

                Adam in Rodchester

115         Brian S.

110         Mitchel

                Coridan the Arch-Villain

105         Will P.

100         Brett

                Ken H.

95           Nazim

                Dan H.

90           Steven from Houston

                Andy the Wholeman

                KC (“the Kid”)

85           Penni

                Anthony from Georgia

                Tony C.

80           Daniela

                Max “Number 2”

75           Big Bears Dad

70           Arturo

                Neil R.


                Todd S.


                “Doing It Wrong”

60           LA Scott


55           C3PO

                P Dub

                Kyle WM

45           Emma

                Prosecutor John

                My dude keanuthon

                Lane from Philadelphia

40           Michigan Drew 


                James N

30           ZLM


                Denver Brad

                Lauren from Baltimore

25           Zoe


                Sarah Corp.

                Girl Carew

15           Victor

                JB in ME



                Kevin, aka Havertown’s worst gambler

                David from ATL

0              Dan H.


                Brandon N.

                Young Maldy

                Cam from Phoenix




A few cases we covered last month are still undecided, but we don’t know for how long. Get your ballots in quick. Here is the ballot. You know what to do.


This one should be easier: just three cases, and the better host (me) is beating the worse host (Brett) in the rankings, so everything is okay. Now, I have to just not screw this up. All I need is for him to keep being wrong. How hard can that be?

With that said, welcome back to our SCOTUS Fantasy League: here’s the April Ballot.

Image result for sexy paddington

The following scores represent three cases, with three others getting DQ’ed for being within the one month grace period (we may shorten that next year).  The cases scored below are D.C. v. Wesby (makeshift strip club), Class v. U.S. (guns on the capital building) and Patchak v. Zinke (friendly neighborhood Indian casino).  Digital Realty v. Somers (snitches get stitches), Murphy v. Smith (math and vocabulary) and Texas v. NM and Colorado (seriously who cares about this case anyway) didn’t make it.  There’s still a ton of cases left, so make sure you fill out ballots (old or new) and periodically check up to see scores.  We’ve also (fingers-crossed) figured out a sophisticated system, but if you have any objections please email us (keeping in mind the prize for winning is a box of junk).  Scores are as follows:


Mitchell, Austin, Coridan (??)


Ray, who may still cheat.




Brian S.


(sigh) Nazim, Spencer, Tony, Adam


KC, Max N.

SIXTY POINTS (60) – *Best Group*



Arturo, Ken H., Someone known only as “Doing it Wrong”, Todd, Alyssa (who rules for still listening), and Fabian (who also rules)


Tulsa’s Favorite Daughter Penni S., Silvia, Steven, Andy “Not a Half-Man”, Anthony


Kyle WM, C3PO Sam, James S., Cade, Vito, PLUS my two favorite listeners Drew (who asked a SCOTUS attendant about who ate at McDonald’s while on a tour) and Daniela (who called us cool uncles on an iTunes review)


ZLM, KJ, John the Prosecutor, Scott, Lane (sleeping giant)


Neil (another sleeping giant), Zoe F., Girl Carew, Sarah C.


Brad, Kevin (who I went to high school with and stinks), PDUB, JB in Me, Jocelyn, Shannon, Chad, Emma, Victor, my dude Keanuthon, my dudette Laura from Baltimore


Dan H., Wayne, JB 94, David, Cam (good name), Carrie S. Young Maldy, Brandon, Nora, literally everyone including possibly you, BUT THERE’S PLENTY OF SCORING LEFT TO BE HAD!!  DON’T GIVE UP NOW!


GET IT WHILE IT’S STILL FRESH! Seriously, the justices are bound to be putting out some decisions at some point soon, so you should get into this goodness before they do. Because we can’t count those ballots guessing at outcomes after those comes have outed.

So, the March ballot is here. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, go here, and if you want to vote in the older ballots while you still have time, look here. Void where void, obviously.


Some of these ballots are lighter, some are heavier, and while this is more in the latter category, I feel that there is at least one, if not more, clear winners. Sometimes we play with the spread on these things by adjusting who wins by requiring a margin, but with this number of choices, it felt like leaving some easy ones was fair. Without further doodoo, the ballot is here.

If this is news to you, please feel free to look over prior ballots and join the fun, but your entries referring to cases that have already been decided will be set aside. More details on the appropriate tab of this website.


Wheeeeee. That… was some party. I almost forgot to get this up. If anyone finds my pants, a smoldering elf, or an angry wookie, let me know. And, for the love of Santa, stay away from all of them.

I wish I had some witty banter here, but I used it all up for 2017. There are rules to this thing, and if you don’t know them, you should check them out. So, with that much ado, here’s the poll for this month’s SCOTUS Fantasy League.


I really want to entitle this one “HOW DARE YOU?” but I think the joke only works (if it works) after you’ve voted in this month’s ballot. In light of Gill v. Whitford, there’s a voting system question in there, and few turkey questions (please send recipes!).

If you don’t know what this is about, you should know that we have a Fantasy SCOTUS league in which folks compete to try to predict the outcome of a few US Supreme Court cases. Correct answers garner points as described per the rules, and the winner is selected posthumously. That is, after I kill them for getting more points than I did. If you haven’t already done so, you should probably go and vote on last month’s ballot before the court releases a ruling on one of those cases.


It’s only appropriate that we have an Epic plaintiff among our cases, since our new season of the SCOTUS Fantasy League leads constitutional liberty protections. I’m clearly not sure what I’m saying here, but I think the feeling is mutual. The November ballot is here. You probably know the rules, but if you don’t, they’re here.

Just to summarize the rules, you pick the outcomes in a few cases we put on a ballot like the one above every month. Whoever gets the most points, at the end of the term, wins a box of stuff from Brett and, maybe, Nazim, if you give us a way to get it to you. The easiest way to not get point is to not put your ballots in. If you put more than ballots in, and we manage to figure that out, you only get the votes from the second ballot. In addition, we’re adding rules banning gerrymandering the Justices, because Nazim. Also, you must read all our SCOTUS Fantasy League announcements in the voice of that announcer in the Hunger Games, the one played by Stanley Tucci – in your head. You don’t have to read it out loud. Finally, don’t taunt happy fun ball. It has feelings, you know. Also, terms may change without notice, since we’re doing this for fun.